1 Red Apple
1 paring knife
1 pair of high heels
Carefully peel apple, maintaining that one long strip, all the way around. Discard apple. Take off all your clothes. Place apple peel around your neck like a tie, and sit on the kitchen counter in a pair of high heels. Wait for husband to arrive home. Wingding should commence immediately after.
Anything at all from the Pretty Woman soundtrack
"On the Couch" by Prince
"W-O-M-A-N" by Etta James
"Baby Done a Bad, Bad Thing" by Chris Isaak
* I swear to Moses, this recipe comes straight out of the otherwise modest cooking tome from a United Methodist's Women group.